Friday Night Rentals: Bad Dudes (NES and Amiga)

If you asked me about this game, Bad Dudes, I would have told you how much I loved playing the game. I would gladly answer the call back then and I would answer it now:

Yes, that call.

I don't know if I was ever a Bad enough Dude to save the president from Ninjas, but what I did know was that fighting ninjas sounded awesome back then, and frankly it still sounds awesome now. Politics or no, if I was asked to embark on a potentially deadly mission where I had to fight ninjas in order to save the president, I'd jump at the privilege. Even if I died, can you imagine the tombstone, "Died of Ninjas?" How many people in the world would get to say that?

In any case, I had this long, fond nostalgia tied to the game. I was prepared to wax nostalgic about how the game still holds up on a few levels as a decent beat-'em up.   However, it turns out that I have a long, fond nostalgia for a game called Dragon Ninja for the Amiga, a computer I spent many hours gaming as a kid, but sadly no longer have access to. My brother and I loved playing the game. Sure, it took forever to boot up, but we had a blast and the music was pretty good, and still sounds good now. Take a look:

Dragon Ninja Long Play

Everything about this game, the one with the cool video above? That's everything that the NES version was not.

We're talking about this one...

Gameplay:

You are one bad dude, not to be messed with, and yet evil ninjas have kidnapped the president and you must battle your way through a seemingly endless stream of ninjas who don't get the point that you are, indeed, a bad dude. Or at least not to be messed with. You scroll along in a fairly flat looking 2-D world made up of train rides and what looks like a world tour of industrial areas. One thing about the standard beat'em up was they were light on plot, usually a "rescue the princess scenario," and bad guys throwing themselves at you left and right. Power ups such as weapons, soda to refill health, and clocks to extend time are sometimes dropped by enemies, but never in amounts that feel satisfying. It's hard enough just making it through regular ninjas, let alone getting to the end of the level. You proceed either right or left, depending on the level, punch to death all who stand in your way, and fight an end level boss. Again, pretty standard stuff.

Graphics and Style:

It's so blocky and chunky, I just don't know where to begin.

Granted we are talking a 1989 NES game, but I feel like the odd, stuttering movement has almost no excuse. Sure, Double Dragon didn't exactly have you full articulated, but games like the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle were released this year as well, and the movement wasn't distracting like this was. As far as style goes, it just seems so...dull. I remember a joke about 1970's era Doctor Who was that they constantly shot in rock quarries and corridors due to budget constraints. Why not have a level where you go across mountains, or deserts or...or...anything but another train and another industrial yard. I get copy and pasting stuff with a slight palate swap was easy, and probably well in some budget of some sort but...man. I know the Amiga version, Dragon Ninja, had the same locals, but it had better graphics overall, so it was easy to ignore when you had that repetition. NES games? If the game itself isn't engaging, it really sticks out.

Music and Sound Design:

Unlike my previously reviewed "Totally Rad," Bad Dudes only gets the title right when it comes to talking 80's/90's 'tude era stuff. Everything from the punches, to the hits, to the poorly digitized voices make me yearn to put in the Amiga version. Only I don't have an Amiga on me, all I have is tinny sound effects and this, this for a soundtrack:

Forgive me, I had to do my duty to today's blog and share the track. If you really like this version of the track, please give the Amiga version a try. It has a feeling that just has so much more going on, so much more 16-bit feel. So much more...everything.

Memories and New Thoughts:

As I may have mentioned before, I loved the Amiga version. My older brother and I played this game so many times on so many weekends. I am pretty sure that we never beat the game as we would run out of lives and continues before the end, but watching the let's play I posted a link to above, I can see that we got to what appears to be the next-to-last level. I could easily go off about how superior the Amiga version is--oh wait, I think I have. But I think the reason I have gone off so much is because of how spectacularly Data East let me down with this port. I honestly can't recall if I ever rented this version. I don't think I did, and I'm glad I didn't. I can forever hold my Amiga memories on the pedestal they belong on.

When I picked this up at a local gamers swap, I was so enthused, so ready to see if I was a Bad enough dude this time around. Would I save the president? Was the Nintendo Entertainment System version on par with the Amiga Would I beat an entire army of ninjas?

Nope.

Friday Night Rentals: Totally Rad

Totally awesome? Totally Tubular? No! It's Totally Rad! (Man) Are you craving a mad mix of platforming and 90's attitude with the wild and crazy colors of the late 80s? Well look no further than this 1991 release from Jaleco! Why did the box art have this bright color scheme? Why was there a purple-eyed punk rock alligator replete with pink mohawk crawling out of the cover? Who cares?! It was the time of Ninja Turtles, skateboards, and punk hair-dos. Why not have a game that actually embraced a phrase that would not only ensure it stuck out at the time, but would stick out over 25 years later? (Only this time as a sign of being a product of the time.) Cover art and radical title aside, was it worth it to have rented at the time? Would it be worth picking up now. Time to take a look at Totally Rad by Jaleco and see whether the game is a totally bodacious time warp or a totally bogus flop, man.

Gameplay:

In Totally Rad you play as Jake, gnarly apprentice to a creepy-faced magician known as Zeb. One day while training, Jake's bodacious girlfriend Allison is kidnapped by an evil king. Now Jake must set forth into a subterranean world in order to rescue his girl and defeat the evil king all while sporting surfer dude 'tude. Yep, it's a "rescue the princess" affair, only this time with a magical surfer dude with lots of 'tude. You have an array of spells immediately at your command ranging from health restoration to transformation of the main character into a weapon slinging creature.

You can get extra lives by defeating a certain number of enemies, however, for each extra life you earn, each subsequent life must be obtained by beating more enemies. Meaning you get your first life after getting 50 points, but the next one doesn't come until you reach over 100 and so on and so forth. While there are spots in the game where life-farming is possible, and there is no time limit, like most farming situations, it can get dull after a while. The action in the game is decently paced and enemy encounters and boss battles feel fair. If you lose a life or take a hit, it's your fault and you know it. While the mechanic of having access to a variety of weapons right off evokes a little bit of Mega Man, I was disappointed that despite the different things I could select from in the magic screen, I oddly felt as if there was a lack of variety and more just novelty to the spells that I was casting. Obviously health restoration was great to have on hand for boss battles, but aside from that I just was never over-wowed by the various powers. It felt great to wield cut blades and quick boomerangs, magically being able to flap wings was okay, but it was no saw blade.

Graphics and Style:

With cut scenes in the style of Ninja Gaiden and 90's 'tude banter abounding; Totally Rad firmly establishes itself as the best of the magician's apprentice surfer dude genre. Colors are bright but never garish, character sprites are well designed and well animated, and level designs are unique and mapped out fairly. (I hate it when games have what purposely feels like cheap deaths or trial-and-error map design simply out of laziness or attempts to extend gameplay.) Totally Rad was a later release in the Nintendo Entertainment System's life cycle, so by this time games had a more polished look to them and usually competent choices in design.

Music and Sound Design:

From the weapon charge to the enemy hits; the sound effects in the game are probably some of the best of the genre for the time. When you have a platformer like this which tries to mimic some of the better aspects of the Mega Man series, you want to feel a modicum of satisfaction when you fire your weapon, and Totally Rad delivers.

The music for Totally Rad stands up both on its own and the test of time. Too often with platformers for the NES you get an annoying song loop that either feels like it isn't trying or loops too soon. Take a listen to the beats from Act 1 Part 1:

Act 1 Part 1

It's high energy, has a decent bass line that keeps with the surfer/rocker tone of the game and conveys that sense of excitement you'd want from a platformer about a surfer dude with magical powers. Now take a listen to the music from Act 2:

Act 2

It's got a funky beat, uses the base line well, and goes at a pace that while not energetic, still has a higher quality to it. It's obvious that the composer put some real effort into making the tracks not merely functional, but in tone with the spirit of the game and a pleasure to listen to. Most of the tracks, if not all, are good enough to act as music you'd listen to separate from the Totally Rad itself.

Memories and New Thoughts:

So what kind of game was Totally Rad when I rented it back in the day? Was it everything that this ad promised it to be? Was it indeed a game that finally spoke my language, dude?

*Hat tip to www.gamesdatabase.org for this "Totally Rad"

throwback ad

Well, when I rented this game as a kid, I remember it as one of the harder, but satisfying games to play. I don't recall if I beat it at the time, but I do remember it had a certain, "Just one more level, then I'm quitting" appeal to it. Each level felt difficult at the time, and it felt like a real accomplishment when I did beat a level. Totally Rad gave me the same feeling that a Mega Man game or Ninja Gaiden game would when I finally beat a level. Coming back to it decades later, does it still have that appeal to me? Does it hold up after all this time?

Yes and no...and I'm not sure how much of that has to do with the way the game has aged in comparison to Ninja Gaiden and Mega Man. Whereas those games have had numerous entries into their franchise, Totally Rad never turned into a franchised game with multiple sequels. Though the adventures were gnarly and awesome at the time, the whole world that the game exists in doesn't so much feel dated as it does locked away in another reality. ...And yet I still really like this game.

Perhaps I'm a bit too wistful when I look back on Totally Rad. Egad! I just love this era of gaming, don't you? I mean really, how often do we get a game this off the wall in concept and storyline? A magical surfer fighting subterranean monsters is right up there with taking a super battle tank underground to rescue your pet frog. I do really miss the time and place the game comes from. A time when the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were popular and there was nothing better than skateboarding or surfing the afternoon away. A time when saying, "That's radical dude" or "That's totally rad, man" were perfect ways to say how excited your were and how awesome something truly was.

Friday Night Rentals: Heartache in a Halfshell: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

If you were to search top five "Nintendo Hard" games list, likely this would turn up on many, if not all of them.  Developed by Konami and published by Ultra Games, this little gem has caused so much swearing among gamers that it would make Yosemite same blush.  

I love the cover of this game, as it looks less like the cartoon and a bit more like the original comic that spawned the phenomenon that was, and still is the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  Not that I don't still enjoy the cartoon and didn't love it back then, but it was kinda neat for some reason to see all the turtles wearing the same colored mask.  

It was and still is brutally hard.  The dam can cause you to utter its name with blasphemous undertones.  Navigating the labyrinthine levels sometimes can feel like a chore.  Raphael, far from playing the part of a bad-you-know-what like he did in the movies; has an completely useless weapon and will always be your last resort or first to die.  For all her nattering on, April supposedly giving you her support means diddly squat when the Foot Clan seems to have recruited fiery goblins from hell to murder you.  What about music and sound though?  Well, the sound of blades, bo staffs, and other weapons whipping through the air was cool.  The various effects you hear throughout the game shows off not only the particular sound design that was Konami, but shows how they were usually on point with what they were doing.  Music for this game was another matter though.  For those of us expecting to hear the classic cartoon theme, it was a let down.  Just listen:

Not exactly what you'd call the 8-bit version of the ol' "heroes in a halfshell" variety.  But it still works for the game tonally and puts you in the mood for the action.  But if you were hoping to sing along--yeah, it was disappointing.  So what has the game really got then?  Yeah, it has the turtles, but with insane difficulty, oddly laid out maps, and unevenly balanced weapons it wasn't at all what I was expecting when I rented it.  I was hoping for something that was an action-packed awesome-fest like what I saw during the cartoon.  Aside from the graphic design of the turtles making them look pretty decent; I admit I was disappointed and knew playing the game was fighting an uphill battle, only this uphill battle had machine guns firing at you as you made the climb.  I was hoping for bright colors and cool boss fights, not endless wandering around the same stupid sewers over and over again.  But...

But for all that, it's still utterly incredible.  You were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!   Beating the Foot Clan wasn't supposed to be a cake walk.  If you weren't fighting a punishing, uphill battle, then conquering the game wouldn't have felt nearly as satisfying.  Who cares if it was hard navigating the electrified seaweed on the dam level?   Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were awesome and everything about them was awesome.  I asked for this game for Christmas and got it.  And you know what?  It's still an awesome game.  I still get a smile when I hear the "overworld" theme as you wonder the streets looking for buildings or sewers to go into.  Who couldn't listen to this and get a peppy, upbeat feeling inside? :

"Overworld 1"

It might seem odd to heap such high praise on a game that easily qualifies as a "Nintendo Hard" game.  But hard doesn't mean it wasn't fun.  It just meant you were going to have to push through the problems of limited continues and high-difficulty bosses.  After all, it's what the turtles themselves would do.  How would they do it you might ask?

TURTLE POWER!!!

Friday Night Rentals: Battletoads

You aren't worthy to get past the Turbo Tunnel!

Ah, the toads.

Those terrible, trying, aggravating, angering, teeth-gnashing toads.

Do I love'em or hate'em?  Not sure really, but what I can be sure of is that I rented this game so many times I'm surprised I didn't ask for it for Christmas.  Actually, I take that back.  I think by the time my  Christmas rolled around I was through with Battlestoads' and the infamous Turbo Tunnel, remembering that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was better anyway.  I only passed the tunnel once by the way, promptly dying before I could get a chance to really revel in my accomplishment.  I remember quickly dying after so much frustration and so much heartache.  Not to mention I was out of lives and continues.  You can only take so much punishment before your eyes turn elsewhere.  After all, the video store had a wide selection to choose from and the fact that Battletoads was always available should have been a sign it wasn't that good.  Well, it wasn't terrible, but....it was something.

Still, it had some deep beats and toad treats throughout and was worth the rental each time if for nothing else than that pause music.  Until that one final time that is.  Then I was on to greener pastures.  Well, time has passed and it's time to make amends.  So how does that classic rental hold up under my more grown-up eyes?

Control

As far as beat'em ups go, the control of the character was and still feels solid.  The actions you take on the game pad correspond nicely to the attacks on the screen, and you never feel like a hit should have landed but didn't.  No, you can't blame the controls one bit really.  There were other beat'em ups at the time which lack the basic grace that Battletoads seems to afford the player.  You hit the button, your fist hits the bad guy.  Funny how this basic mechanic could get screwed up in other beat'em ups of the day.  Where the control did lack was that you needed to be lightening fast when operating a vehicle.  There was no remorse, no pity, no apology from the walls of the turbo tunnel when I was a kid.  So now that I'm an adult, does that mean not only the fights are easy, but that the tunnel is easy as well?

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Yeah--no, it's every bit as frustrating now as it was then.

Gameplay and Graphics

AHHHHHHHHH!

The graphics are surprisingly fantastic and 3D-ish for an NES game.  There's even a bit of parallax scrolling (or as near as you could get on the NES) in the infamous turbo tunnel.  The cartoony animations when your toads are alarmed are as funny as any Tex Avery cartoon, and the goofy way your boots grow big or your head grows ram horns when you attack an enemy make defeating them a real joy.  Color use is clever, and the toads may be a darker green, but they never feel muddy or foul to look at.  It certain has portions where it feels like the good TMNT clone it desperately wants to be. So that said about the graphics, how does the gameplay hold up? 

Still as frustrating as ever as I mentioned before.  Booting your friend across the room may seem hilarious the first dozen or so times, but there comes a point when you realize as a kid that deciding to off your pal meant getting kicked back to the continue screen and loss of progress on the level you were on.  Not to mention the fact that you share continues so once they run out, you are both hosed.  Truly, as a kid I remember being shocked that I couldn't get farther than I was getting.  Level 3? C'mon, I beat Mega Man!  But man oh man Mega Man was a cake walk comparatively speaking.   

But the game turns so brutal in difficulty right after the first level you'd think something had glitched the game and caused it flip to the "hard" setting.  Ha ha!  Jokes on you, it's all hard setting, all the time with this game.  It's every bit as aggravating as you remember.  Maybe more so as an adult because you might have given yourself the false impression that "you were just a kid then" or "I'm such a pro now, I've got this handled."  Hahahahahah. Nope.  I'm sure my brother and I when we tried co-op mode didn't get far on the infamous Tunnel.  Heck!  I think there were times when we had a hard time getting down the shaft after the first boss with out accidentally killing one another. Two player mode was a joke in itself because you could accidentally--or on purpose depending on your mood towards your older brother at the time---beat the snot out of each other.  So did getting rid of the second player improve your chances of getting past that stupid tunnel....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Still no.

Music and Sound

Time out again? C'mon man, there's a princess to save!

Every fan of Battletoads--okay, maybe fan is an exaggeration--I should save every person who has had the misfortune to play this game fondly remembers the pause music.  Yeah, I would go so far as to say fondly.  It may not have been the best soundtrack in the world, but something about the heavy bass and deep thumps has deeply ingrained itself into my brain.  Heck, the track isn't even a song; really it's more like one line of sound for the beginning of DJ mix.  But oh what a mix-tape that would be!  The rest of the soundtrack has a decent beat to it as well by the way here's a vid of the entire soundtrack:

Bass-er-iffic

The heavy thumping sounds as you beat up enemies are immensely satisfying.  As far as other sounds go, they're okay, nothing especially special that makes the sound feel particularly unique.  When it comes to iconic sounds, the game kinda lacks truth be told.  But those thumps as you hit things?  Yeah, they make up for a lot of lost ground in this department.  The sounds of the TMNT game were okay as you beat enemies to a pulp, but there were times it felt too tinny to me.  I think in a beat'em up genre game you need the those meaty thuds to sell the game a little better.  But that's just me.  Yes, things don't sound that way when you hit them or get beat up by your older brother for having booted him off the screen for the ump-teenth time--but I like it when I feel I'm delivering heavy punishment to enemies.


Overall Impression

I stroke my chin thoughtfully as I close this article.  Contemplating how as an adult I can handle things in a more mature manner than as a kid.  Yes.  Yes.  I'm enlightened, a deeper thinker.  Not given to fits of rage and sorrow when I slam into a wall again.  Truly, I'm sure that this game and all the hardship that it put me through as a kid taught me many a valuable lesson about how to deal with loss and how hard work sometimes doesn't pay off but you need to keep going anyway.

Maybe, just maybe this will be the time that I conquer the Turbo Tunnel.  Perhaps even now as I type, my fingers have found themselves possessed of skill and nimbleness I had not possessed as a child.


Yes, now, now is the time to try and win against that tunnel.

*THUMP*

...guess not.